Journal #6- Chapters 16-19 from the perspective of Tom Robinson

The trial begins today. I have to go in the courtroom and tell the people of maycomb the true story but the only reason why they wont believe me is because I'm black. Very tough too live and not be equally treated. I feel like I'm a dog getting walked by a human. I'm always on a leash and when I get to be free of the leash its because I need to get the ball and come back or eat food.
The trial is today and I'm nervous from bottom to top. My legs are giving me the chills that sends it to the tip of my head. As I walk in to sit in my place I notice everyone coming in from the whole town to see this case. I feel a little more appreciated because of all the people who show up. I feel like more people want to see me win then fail. But not in this case, in this case, people don't like black people very much. They feel as if they are dangerous.
As i walk into the courtroom and sit down I hear the people talking about my case and how "Tom will never win." I feel strong enough to take the hate of the courtroom and of maycomb and decide to fill my head with good thoughts while I enter.
As i sat down and the case started I heard the crowd in the courtroom lower there voices for the start of the case. After Judge Taylor presided over the case we began. First up, prosecutor, Mr. Gilmer asks heck Tate questions about what happened that night. He went on about how he got a call that his daughter has been raped. He said when he got there that mayella was bruised and beaten and that mayella told heck Tate that tom Robinson raped her. Next Bob Ewell told his story of what he did that night and how he came from the woods with a load of kindling when he heard his daughter yell. Bob said when he got there he saw me raping her.
The trial continues onto mayella. She said now that I took advantage of her when I got in the house. She also says how her life consists of seven unhelpful children, a drunken father, and no friends. Atticus tries to stand up for me even though I know theres no help for me and asks how I could of harmed her with a torn apart left-hand. He goes on more about it and says why she wouldn't admit that her father bruised her because she was with a black man. I chuckled but not to loud just loud enough for myself to hear. I hear mayella yell back at atticus about the courtroom being cowards to not convict me of the crime. Then she started to cry.
Atticus calls me next for a witness. I walk up there, perfectly relaxed, and ready to answer his questions. I testify that I pass the Ewell's house on the way to work and that mayella most of the time asked me to do chores for her. That day the chore was to fix a door. When I went inside, the door was perfectly fine, and there was no one in the house but us. She told me everyone left to get ice cream because of the money she saved. She needed a box from the dresser. I said OK and started up the ladder. She grabbed my leg and in that moment I was so scared I just jumped down from the ladder. She hugged me and in that moment asked me to kiss her. At that moment Bob came furious standing next to a window. He was so furious that he called her a whore and threatened to kill her. I didn't want anymore of this and ran away. I notice one of my employers stands up to say a comment about me that I gladly appreciated. They get me to admit later on that I have the strength to strangle a girl with one arm and shove her down multiple times. I say that i felt sorry for mayella because of what has happened. Everyone looked at me like That has never happened before. A black feeling bad for a white. I hear crying from the balcony but don't bother to look.