Awww! i've just woken up from sleeping in. I have a messy house with things everywhere. So I start off the day cleaning up my house. It's very messy so it takes me a while to clean. About 4-5 hours to be exact but noones counting. After I go to my room and put on my clothes for the day. Im a old lady as you know trying to live good. It's very hard to live with my old body. It's hard to move sometimes and even walk.
One day I had I was outside gardening when I see Jem and Scout passing by. I say hi and we start a conversation. I then say to those rotten kids that atticus is not any better than those "niggers" and trash he works for. I said it straight because those kids need to know what there father is doing. Discrasing the white community. He's doing the wrong thing. I had to express my feelings. When they started off back to their home. Jem looked frustrated in a way. He was gripping his fist really tight like he was going to punch me. But why would he punch an old lady, he knows i can't fight or even compete. I think hes feeling angry about what I said. Well, I dont really care, he needs to know the truth.
Everyday I have to go through these rotten kids that have a father that stands with a black man.
One day I took a break from gardening my camellia bushes and went to get some water. I noticed a thump and i ran outside to my bushes. I saw my bushes all ruined and Jem running off back to his home. I started screaming and cursing at him so loud. The whole town could of probably heard me. I had to punish him. I made my punishment to have Jem come to my house everyday for a month and read to me.
As Jem read to me for the first couple days scout decided to join him. They would start reading and I would start fits and abuse about the book. I couldn't stand why that happened in the book. Things were weird and I had to speak up. If i didn't the kids wouldn't know the truth. I also Made the sessions a little longer each day because I wanted them to stay. I couldn't figure why the kids were always holding themselves tight like theres something wrong with me or maybe them. The month went by and i started to get lonely. I started to do more morphine then usual and was very crazy most of the time. which I can admit because everyone probably knows by now.
It was about a month later now. I'd made a box for Jem that holds one of my precious items. In it was a single white camellia. I also was going to tell some people in the county that my reading with the kids was a attempt to break the addiction. I 've been going through some hard weeks. Feeling very sick and what not i feel dead. I feeling you never really feel unless your going to die soon. I woke up one morning about to fall over. I go to the hospital that morning insanely drugged and feel very dissy and sick. I was dying and i knew it. The last thing i said to myself in my mind was " I'm sorry jem and scout." ......................( dead )
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